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Thoughts of you

There are days when I miss you so acutely that it feels like a slab of concrete on my chest, crushing me, forcing me down into the earth.

I am paralyzed from the heart down, incapable of escaping the avalanche of emotion but present enough to bear witness to the massacre.

But it’s beautiful, like watching a lightning storm in full swing.

An elegant form of destruction.

I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.

And, I miss what cannot be.

I have always been self-reliant. I stand on my own two feet and I’m proud of that.

But, I need you.

I need you like a fish needs water to breathe and like flowers need the sun to grow.

I need you for sustenance.

I need you not because I lost myself in you but because I found myself with you.

That’s why even though I might be crushed by the immensity of this longing, I will always be right beside you.

Because even having you like this, as a friend, is better than not having you at all.